Love Like Crazy
I lost my daughter to cancer on July 5, 2022. It was the hardest day of my life. I had no idea how to navigate this new season of my life. I had her when I was barely 18, so I’m just not sure how to do life without her. But the December before she passed she and I had a very long talk. She told me she knew cancer would take her long before I would pass away…gut wrenching to hear as a Mom. She wanted to tell me how she felt about so many things…what she hoped for her Husband and 2 year old son in their lives, she wanted to be remembered, she wanted a celebration of life not a funeral. She had specific asks for this celebration. Mexican food, mimosas and margaritas, her family and friends having fun hanging out and playing yard games. We did every bit of this!!! She also made me promise that I would not lay down and give up. She made me promise to live my life so that she could live on through me. She said that her looks, personality, love and compassion for people came from me. She said that I had to keep loving my people, her people and even strangers the way I showed her you are suppose to love people. Without stipulations, for exactly who they are, where they are and BOLDLY!! Her motto was Love Like Crazy. So I will continue to Love Like Crazy!
This year has been harder than I think even my family and closest friends understand. But I get up everyday and live to honor my sweet Schuylar. People tell me all the time they don’t know how I do it. People have commented saying how they admire how I have handled this loss with such Grace and Faith. The truth is, it is HARD but I choose to find Joy in the Grief. There are still days when I do not get out of bed, I still cry every day, but I also choose to remember the wonderful moments of my Daughter’s life. She touched more lives in 31 short years than most people will touch in a lifetime. She was as Real as a person could be and her smile was one of the most joyful things to see. She was an amazing Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Aunt, Granddaughter and Friend. She was a child of God and God granted me the honor of being her Momma on this earth. So because of that and God’s promise that I will hug her again one day…I choose to see the Joy in the Grief. I hope that someone else who has suffered loss can find that joy too. Because I truly believe that the Joy we have with our loved ones is the reason that Grief hurts so bad. It is because we loved that person with our whole soul.
