From Grief to Grace: Loving Like Crazy in Her Honor

I lost my daughter Schuylar to cancer on July 5, 2022—the hardest day of my life.

I had her when I was barely 18, so in many ways, we grew up together. And now, I’m still trying to figure out how to do life without her.

But the December before she passed, we had a long, honest conversation. She told me she knew cancer would take her long before I would go. As a mom, that was gut-wrenching to hear—but she had things she needed to say.

She shared her hopes for her husband and her two-year-old son. She asked me to make sure she was remembered, and she told me what she wanted for her celebration of life: Mexican food, mimosas, margaritas, family and friends laughing and playing yard games.

And we did every bit of it.

She also made me promise not to lay down and give up. She told me to keep living—to let her live through me. She said her heart, her compassion, her bold love for people… she got that from me. And she told me to keep loving others the way I taught her to: with no conditions. For who they are. Where they are. Boldly.

Her motto was “Love Like Crazy.”

So that’s what I’m doing. I will Love Like Crazy—because she did.

This past year has been harder than anyone even knows. But every day I get up, I do it to honor my sweet girl.

People tell me they admire my strength. That they see grace and faith in me. The truth? It’s hard. There are still days I can’t get out of bed. I still cry every day. But I also choose to see the joy.

Because joy and grief are intertwined. We grieve deeply because we love deeply.

Schuylar touched more lives in 31 years than many do in a lifetime. Her smile lit up rooms. She was an incredible wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, and friend.

She was a child of God. And God gave me the honor of being her Momma.

Because of that—and the promise I will get to hug her again one day—I choose to keep living. I choose to find joy in the grief.

If you’re grieving, I hope you find a glimpse of joy too. Because that love you carry? That’s what made the loss so deep. And that love is still worth honoring.