The Way I Wear My Grief: Love, Faith, and Schuylar

Grief Will Always Be a Part of Me

How could it not be?

We all live with grief in some form—because we’re built to mourn the ones we love.
Everyone experiences loss.
But the loss of a child… it’s the hardest kind of grief there is.

And if someone tells you it gets better with time—they’re wrong.
It doesn’t get better.
You just learn how to wear it.

So, how do I wear mine?

I’ve chosen to wear my grief in a way that honors my sweet Schuylar.

I live.
I take the vacations.
I spend time with family and friends.
I go to concerts.
I smile. I laugh.
I love BIG. I pray HARD. I have unwavering FAITH.

But yes… I still cry.
Every single day.
Usually in private—in a bathroom, under the covers at night.
I cry because I miss her so deeply. Because everything reminds me of her.

But then I pull myself together.
And I think:
I am reminded of her so often because she lived.
And I was blessed to have her for 31 beautiful years… instead of not at all.

I think about the day we’ll be reunited at Heaven’s gates—because she and I both gave our hearts to Jesus, and we lived by that faith.

So I wear my grief in my own way, in my own time, right where I’m at.
I wear it in a way I believe she would be proud of.
In a way that honors her.

And if you’re grieving—especially the loss of a child—here’s what I want you to know:

It does not get easier with time.

But you can choose how you wear your grief.
And when you make that choice, think about what your loved one would want for your life.
Most of all—cling to your faith.
Because that’s where true hope lives.