Uncovering Joy in the Grief

From late March through Mother’s Day, I walk through a season that weighs heavy on my heart. This stretch of time holds so many deeply emotional milestones—Schuylar’s wedding anniversary, her son’s birthday, her own birthday, and of course, Mother’s Day. April, especially, carries layers of meaning. And with each memory comes a fresh wave of grief.

This time of year is predictably hard.
And yet—I try to seek comfort in the small, sacred details.

I’ve noticed something over the years: when the days feel especially heavy, I often find a penny in the most unexpected places… or I catch sight of a cardinal, seemingly out of nowhere. At first, these moments made me ache. But now, I’ve grown to welcome them as gentle reminders—tiny messengers of joy and presence.

Each time I find one, I pause and reflect on a specific, cherished memory of Schuylar. It brings me a measure of peace in the storm.

Losing her is the hardest experience of my life.
But I know—without a doubt—that she wouldn’t want this loss to define me.
And I don’t want that either.

Instead, I want to live in a way that reflects the joy, the love, and the light she brought into this world. I want to honor her life—not just mourn her absence.

So here’s what I’ll say to anyone walking through a similar season:

Stay open to the subtle signs.
Don’t overlook the little things.
Let them lead you back to a moment of love.
Let them remind you: joy and grief can coexist.

Even in the hardest moments, we can find beauty.
Even in the sorrow, we can uncover joy. 💛