Anchored by Faith in the Hardest Month

As I Get Farther Into April…

As I get farther into April, my heart grows heavier.

A part of your heart is always heavy after losing a child—but if you have faith, and a relationship with God, your heart can begin to beat again.

April is hard for me. It’s packed with back-to-back emotional milestones:

Vander’s birthday.
Schuylar’s birthday.
Shaye and Zayne’s birthday.
And then, just around the corner, comes Mother’s Day.

This season alone would be enough to overwhelm me—but I’m also walking alongside my sweet mom as she battles cancer. Most days, the weight of it all feels suffocating. Some mornings, it’s hard to even catch my breath.

But still—each morning, I wake up and ask God to plant my feet firmly on the ground.
I pray for strength to take just one more step.
I ask Him to help me remember the good times.
The joy-filled moments.
The lives my Schuylar touched—even in her final week on this earth—because of her faith.

And then I praise Him for the promise I hold onto tightly:
That I will see her again.

Is it still hard?
Yes. Absolutely.
It should be—because a piece of my heart will always be missing.

But I also know this:
Schuylar told me she wanted me to live.
She said it with love, with courage, and with faith.

So with the strength of God behind me, holding me up on the hardest days…
I am living.
One step at a time.
With purpose.
With love.
With faith.